


This is forever

by Kaylajojo



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Chronic Illness, Even is Isak's everything, Even loves Isak with everything he has got, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:29:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylajojo/pseuds/Kaylajojo
Summary: Isak suffers from a chronic illness called, Hashimoto's Disease which resulted in him having Hypothyroidism.Alternatively Even will always be there for Isak





	This is forever

Isak was diagnosed with hypothyroidism due to an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto’s Disease at fifteen. This type of chronic illness is stereotypically known to be more common in older people and women so it was a thousand wonders the doctor even tested Isak for it. 

Even though it has been years since Isak was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's, it still made day to day life harder even with a regulated thyroid and good medicine.

However even with good medication Isak still struggles with things like never being warm. It is also harder for him to maintain a good energy level, and it leaves him more tired than someone his age should be and weight gain, drowsiness, forgetfulness, dry, itchy skin, sore muscles and increased sensitivity to many medications were other things that were hard to face and it left him numb to the world around him some days.

It was a particularly cold day in Oslo, and Isak had wrapped as many blankets as he could find around him and Even had run to the store quickly, and would be back any minute, so while Isak waited for his main source of warmth to return, he sat covered with blankets around him. He still shivered though, despite everything he shielded himself with.

After a few minutes though, Isak got up to use the bathroom. He left his blanket behind, though he rather take it with him. He used to, up until Even kindly requested that he stop taking their blankets into the bathroom, because, one, the bathroom was full of germs and didn’t smell the best, even if it was clean, and, two, Even knew that Isak only took it to cover himself up from the mirror, knowing he didn’t want to see his reflection. It had taken a few weeks and days of convincing and trying, but Isak finally managed to ditch the blanket each time he went to the bathroom.

Just as Isak finished using the bathroom, he made a beeline for the door, but out of the corner of his eye, he caught his reflection, and was instantly pulled in by the image looking back at him.

Isak looked tired and washed out. This look more than likely originated from the fact that Isak’s chronic pain has been hitting him left and right harder than it usually does these days and he can’t bring himself to move out of bed leaving him the mess he now sees in the mirror. 

“What are you doing, baby?” Even’s familiar voice said from behind him.

Isak looked up, catching Even’s gaze in the mirror. He hadn’t even heard him open the door to peek in. Instantly, Isak covered his face and felt ashamed at how he looked right now.

Weak and miserable 

Even pursed his lips and stepped forward towards Isak and gently grabbed one of Isak’s wrists and pulled it from his face and then proceeded to hold Isak’s hand carefully. Even silently led Isak back to the bed and Even helped him sit down making sure his pain wouldn't flair up full force suddenly and risk Isak toppling over.

Once the two were sitting and comfortable one tear fell from Isak’s eye, and Even’s cool, delicate finger, wiped the streak away. “Why are you crying, Isak?” Even murmured, pressing a kiss to Isak’s wrist. 

“Me being like this is getting old and I don't want you to have to live your life dealing with me because Ev I can’t fix whats wrong with me, this is forever, I wish with everything in me that this would go away but it just won’t,” Isak admitted brokenly, closing his eyes so that he didn’t have to see the look on Even’s face and so that he didn’t have to see the shaking in his hands and feet that were being caused by his thyroid overworking itself even though his shitty immune system wouldn't let it work properly and because of that it resulted in the waves of shaking that Isak was currently experiencing. 

“Open your eyes sweetheart,” Even commanded gently. “I want you to look at me.”

Isak did as he was told, trying his best not to look into Even’s eyes and so Isak looked down at his pale shaking hands. 

“I said me,” Even said, when he noticed Isak was looking at his shaking hands he seemed to hate so much. Isak’s eyes trailed upwards until they met Even’s. “There are those beautiful eyes.” Even said brightly.

“God I am just so in love with you Isak.” Even said breathily. 

“I just don’t understand why,” Isak whispered.

“I’m not worth it Even. I am in pain constantly whether dull or excruciating, I’m always cold, and I can’t keep up with you because all I want to do is sleep. I am just recently eighteen, and I feel like I’m a hundred years old. I’m always tired and cold and cranky, and on top of that, I keep putting on more weight than I can lose, and I can’t drink any alcohol because of this medicine, and I just want to be normal and I never will be and I hate it, Even!” Tears streamed from Isak’s eyes rapidly, he breathed in heavily and started sobbing.

Even leaned forward, pressing kisses to his falling tears, while rubbing small circles on Isak’s throbbing joint at his wrist. “I wish you didn’t hate yourself so much, Isak. I, for one, love you and I love every little thing about you because when you’re cold and sleepy you doze off on my lap like the tiniest little kitten and in those moments I thank every single being thats up above that you came into my life. I like you. No actually I really fucking love you. Every single inch of you.” Even said like it was his last words he could ever speak.

“But I’m not worth it,” Isak whimpered.

“Yes, you are. It doesn’t matter if you’re always tired, or always cold. I will always love you.” He pressed his lips against Isak’s, kissing him with slow, but loving, passion. “And I wish I could take every bit of pain that you feel and have it instead, but since I can’t I will lay with you everyday if need be and put heat onto your aching muscles and hold your shaky cold hands until they hopefully warm up and the shaking resides.” Even began, peppering kisses to different parts of Isak’s face, listening to the boy try not to giggle at the tickling feeling.

“I don’t know why you still love me,” Isak mumbled, all trace of happiness gone in the blink of an eye. 

“How could I ever stop?” Even asked, looking Isak directly in the eyes.

Isak shrugged, finding himself at a loss. It was then Even pulled Isak’s head onto his warm chest. 

After a while and some thought Isak spoke. 

“I think I have to go back to the doctor soon so they can check on my thyroid hormone levels,” Isak said, his eyes drifting closed. He must be getting sleepy. “The medicine has actually been helping a lot and I am very grateful but it still makes me feel like I'm drowning in uselessness every time I take it.”

Even leaned down and kissed Isak’s cheek. “Medicine can sometimes feel like giving up, I understand that whole heartedly, but that medicine is keeping you alive baby,” Even whispered into Isak’s ear. 

“I want to be alive, but there are times where it may seem pointless and then in those times I get scared because if I’m not alive I don’t get to see you anymore which may make me seem selfish but I just can’t help in Ev, you mean everything to me.” Isak confessed. 

Even’s heart swelled at his confession. He smiled into Isak’s hair, pressing one kiss atop his head. “Isak coincidentally enough you also mean everything to me.”

Isak smiled and burrowed deeper into his blanket. 

“You’ll never fall behind me, Isak. Never. I’m always with you. Let’s play our favorite game my precious boy, Isak and Even, minute by minute.” Even gently spoke lowering them further into the bed so that both of them were laying, Isak curling into Even.

“I like that game,” Isak said sleepily, “minute for minute.”

They laid like that for a while, not taking Isak long to doze off, and as Even stroked the sleeping boy’s hair, he couldn’t help but run his fingers over Isak’s wrists. Even knew they were hurting Isak a whole lot recently and it made Isak extremely frustrated. 

Even was going to be here for Isak, pain or not. This boy is his world and his stars but more importantly Isak was his sunshine and they were going to live their lives to the fullest. No matter what obstacle the world throws their way, Even knows their love will always guide them through it and out the other side. This was them mental and chronic illness be damned.

**Author's Note:**

> This story meant the world to me to write. I hope you enjoyed the story and if you want more of Isak's journey with a chronic illness just let me know. 
> 
> Lots of love, Mj Xx
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @ Princelyisak


End file.
